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Quest for Perfection

   My parents were told by three ultrasounds I would be a boy. My mom had visions of having a football quarterback star and my Dad envisioned extra mechanical help.

    These daydreams were silenced when they head, "It's a Girl!"

    Ok, a girl. Not really what they perfectly envisioned, but acceptable. New 'perfect' visions were created-she'd be a lawyer, she'll go to college, and she'll be famous.

    These visions were silenced when they heard, "She has Apraxia."

  With years of hard work from my parents and myself as well as our supporters, we were able to re-gain hope that we'd make it through. We were able to re-find those 'perfect daydreams' of the future. Sure, we've realized I have to do it with an 'accent,' but we still fought hard for those 'perfect daydreams.'

   Ah, the 'perfect daydreams.'

   I may not be a mother, so my experience is based on conversations with the women in my life and the Apraxia Moms reading this now. But, we ALL seem to be guilty of envisioning 'perfection.' The ideal pregnancy (you know, that infamous 'glow'), the perfect child, and the perfect family. We envision this perfection until reality settles in.

   This challenge to perfection occurred to every parent I've ever talked to after their child is first diagnosed with Apraxia, Dyspraxia, Autism, or any other disorder. They reminisced about their 'perfect' vision for their child and it's quickly crushed by the mention of a disorder. All  parents seem to have these fantastical visions challenged with the realities of life. We all are on this quest for perfection, yet are always challenged with perhaps special circumstances, finances, and even those self-doubting nights where you have no idea how to engage with this new baby.

    The one commonality between the Moms in this Apraxia community, Moms in Twice-Exceptional groups, and moms in the neurotypical community is that we all need our communities and our support systems, especially as we overcome the challenges in our own quests. This need to find our support systems is present from the beginning even when Mom's first become moms, as shown at thinkbaby.org  where a great group of women-Zoe, Josephine and Angela-all share their ins-and-outs of being the best moms they can be.

  Note the emphasis: The Best They Can Be.

   That is our goal here: To simply do the best we can do and the best we can be. If trying to be the best you can be requires some extra help and support from others in a similar situation, then so be it!

   That is the ultimate goal of any parent, Apraxia or not, is do just try your best even if that means fighting hard for that success. Hence why our support systems are so vital on this journey, they are there to help us celebrate the successes and catch us at our setbacks.



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